talking silence

smile : do it once for me........

2005-04-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

a lot has been said and written about that little being, smile. people, poets, lovers all alike have praised it, adored it, worshipped it. psychologists have analysed it. painters have immortalised it (who can forget venerated smile of Da Vinci's Monalisa?). photographers endeavour to capture it.
be it a smile of success when u achieve what u have set out for OR smile of surprise when something nice happens unexpectedly. smile is not just to be seen but to be felt. sometimes smile does not reach the lips but lingers in the eyes and has to be read.
smile is beautiful when it is shy, subdued, self-concious. when it spills over slightly, like unrestained mirth. n more beautiful when smile follows tears, when tears r still fresh n wet over the face. the striking contrast it makes. it symbolizes the victory of happiness over sorrow. smile brought over in moments of despair by comforting voice of a loved one. by the feeling that someone is able to understand. by just pouring out the contained emotions in front of a loved one.
whatever may be the reason, smile makes life worth living. at the end of the day we all are searching a reason to smile. and what is it? am i imagining or are u really smiling?

Yeh Dil Maange More(Poetry)

2005-03-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

Greedy as it is, greedier it gets,
What has to come it knows,
What it got it forgets,
The more it gains it pains, ....for more,
Yeh dil machaaye shor,
Yeh dil maange more.

When I meet you, its bliss,
I am in heavens unattained,
Every moment spent with you is a lifetime,
It relishes every moment it gained,
Phir bhi dil machaaye shor,
Yeh dil maange more.

Can I have this moment forever,
Can I hold your hand close to my heart,
Can every end herald a new start,
Yeh dil still machaaye shor,
Yeh dil maange more.

Afternoon : Silence......

2005-03-22T02:09:00.000-08:00

its so serene, so calm. the silence is golden(in literal terms too). yellow dust settled over all the beings of the afternoon. shiny surfaces of the leaves reflecting the sunlight like dazzling little diamonds. the road, muted and thoughtful. enjoying the absence of thoroughfare. sleepy eyed mongrels lying around lazily in shadows of parked cars. silence seeping in to the soul of the afternoon and touching the universal being. birds chirping relentlessly despite of the scorching heat and rendering a trancelike quality to the silence. a slight breeze comes from nowhere, unsettles the dust on the road, ruffles the leaves, and leaves after its attempts to break the silence go in vain. afternoon is like wise, old grandmother, calm and pensive, who knows that the energy of the morning and evening cannot be contained. they are like toddlers who keep running around and never seem to tire. so like a caring grandmother she puts her children to sleep by pulling her yellow blanket over them so that they wake up refreshed for the evening's heavy activities. not only bodies but souls are refreshed after an afternoon full of reflection. silence gives one a chance to sit back and think( that's what most of us don't do).
afternoon and its silence speak so much without desiring to be heard. one who hears them learns what they are teaching. does the road to wisdom go from here?

am i lost

2005-03-20T03:06:00.000-08:00

i am happy when i am left alone. loneliness is not what i prefer, but solitude is. it gives me a chance to feel free. to be myself. to be the one i want to be. am i justified in wanting to disconnect for some time from my people? from my mother, my girlfreind? dont know, but this is how i prefer it sometimes. living my own life. not that i go on a wild, self pampering mode, doing whatever pleases me. its just that i like to feel that i am by myself. it also gives me opportunity to talk to myself. in finding myself. many times, while fulfilling other's expectations about oneself, one tends to lose one's true self. solitude helps me bring myself back to me. i sit back and experience the joy of being myself. feeling free is the most wonderful feeling in the world. i go back to my childhood days and relive all the joys and sorrows. because that was me. and this is me. i have dreams about future. aspirations and ambitions. i may not be sure about what i want to be. but i am working towards certain goal which seems close to my heart. i also dream to be with my loved one. but would i still be myself after all this. would i be the same two year old, the same five year old, the same fiffteen year old.
dunno, sometimes it feels like i am losing myself. struggling against the current to hold on to my true self. i want to be free. i want to be me.